Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
