The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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