Your tits are I can't wait for
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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