I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
