mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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