Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize