Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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