PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I don't deserve a penis
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
