dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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