fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
