well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
