I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
