Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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