Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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