party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
People in love make me want to vomit
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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