Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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