I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
