i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
