covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
