Can i not drive my cunt home
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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