I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize