I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
