i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
