The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
