The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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