I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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