just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
