I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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