How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
