Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
