i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
