You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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