I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
