and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
