the day after is always just damage control
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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