About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
