we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
