How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize