Where did you get a picture of my penis
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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