As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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