I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
