so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize