Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize