when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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