dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
