okay pat passed out under dana's car
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Its about making memories worth repressing
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
