thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
