I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
