marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Say something about gay babies.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
