i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
