Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
