There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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