Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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