Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
