So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
